Yesterday she was 10

The youngest of our tribe is 10 years old. She is the only girl in the entire gang of children. She has 4 brothers on this side of our combined family and another from her father's side. She is beautiful. Not just physically but even more so as a person in general. She was given the gift of being "cool" right from the start. She knew what she needed, was confident enough to ask for it, and content when she got it. She wasn't pushy. She was given a sense of humor that takes me out at the knees some days and other days breaks through any stress that I may be carrying, in a quiet instant. As she has grown up she has carried with her a natural sense of wonder. She is empathetic and kind and unbelievably capable as an artist and craftsperson. So why am I gushing about my daughter today? Well, it seems that in what feels like overnight, the world has gotten to her, and it's obvious that I am not ready to share her. She will be 11 in February which at this point feels like it may as well be 13. She is in fifth grade now and the pressure to perform academically is causing her to falter for the first time in her life. She is waking up and seeing the world around her, the choices, the consequences, the peer pressure, and all the things that she has thus far escaped from. I want to keep her home, turn off the noise and protect her purity. I know part of me is projecting on some of my toughest days long ago and wishing there was a get-out-of-jail-free card I could hand her so she could skip the heartbreak and the self-shame I experienced. All I know for today is that I see the world's fingerprint on her unblemished surface and I don't like it. Already I see where there are other people she learns better from, hears better from, so I have decided to hold her as close as possible in the places I know she and I connect and leave the rest to the ones around her who are better suited. I didn't realize how un-ready I was for this to happen, so I am thinking a lot, writing a lot, holding on to what I know, and trusting my instincts as a mama bear as so far they have been pretty good to me.